Since I have started this new health and lifestyle regime I have learnt a lot about my relationship with food. It a lot for me to admit and it will take some time to go through.
As people know I have an overeating disorder. It started during my second year if university after I broke up with someone that I really liked. For me eating was the only way that I could control my emotions so no one would know my real feelings.
Over time the weight piled on. I was easily eating a couple thousand calories a day. It was really hard to deal with. I was going through eating cycles where I’d eat, feel sorry for myself, fast, feel hungry, then binge again. Binging became my stress valve whenever I felt upset or stressed out.
It was only when I graduated that I realised that I needed to change. My grades took a big hit due to my depression meaning I got a grade that could’ve been a lot better. Although I am still proud that I managed to graduate even with my problems.
I have realised that there is nothing I should be ashamed of. I’m now working out regularly and food is becoming less of a crutch for me. Albeit that I still go through problems and binge but it is a lot less frequent and manageable.
I know that i am going to be at a healthy weight soon and I need to be patient. After all Rome wasn’t built in a day. I will be more happier and know that I will be more healthy!